My mind is in turmoil over this week’s Writing Challenge: Time Machine. I mean, what do I write about since I don’t want to travel in time?
Let me explain myself.
I wouldn’t want to go back to a specific time in history because:
- It will probably involve war, natural catastrophe, death or disease.
- I could screw up the future by doing something as harmless as stepping on an ant.
- I would die (see number 1).
- I could inadvertently prevent myself from being born (see number 2).
Forgive me for being so pessimistic about time travel but I believe I am quite happy with the way things are, thank you very much.
I know there were some events that I could have gladly prevented even if I had the power to. But I believe that things happen for a reason.
As an example, I can give you a brief glimpse about Philippine history, particularly our national hero Jose Rizal. Many historians say that his arrest, detention, and subsequent execution by Spain added fuel to the flames of the revolution that was already happening at that time. His martyrdom lent credence to the cause, influencing a full-scale revolution. I will not go into detail about it since even historians are still arguing about the significance of his death. Bottom line – had he lived, things would’ve been pretty different.
The same goes for my life. I know I’ve made mistakes in the past. There were some things I wish I did or didn’t do. There were even some dark times in the past when I wished I hadn’t been born.
When I was younger, I would remember all the things that I regretted doing or saying right before I would go to sleep. I’d toss and turn. Then, I’d scream as quietly as I can into a pillow until I was in danger of smothering myself. (I’ve had issues, I know.)
But now, I don’t care that much. These nights, the last thought I have before I close my eyes is how sleepy I was.
I don’t know if I’ve grown apathetic or if I have just accepted things as they are and to live with no regrets. I wouldn’t be who I am now had I not experienced the past 22 years of my life. I love myself. I have a quiet sense of pride on the person I’ve become.
I admit that sometimes, things just don’t really make sense no matter how many times I turn it over in my mind. But as I said, I’m way past caring over those I could no longer change. I think the best way to make use of the past is to learn from it.
I am not perfect. There is still definitely some room for improvement for me. I need to: exercise more, socialize (ugh) and get out of the house more, eat healthier, write and blog more frequently, and spend less on makeup. Those are just the collective tip of the iceberg.
Besides, I care now more about the future than the past though I’ve learned not to rely too much on dreams. Dreams are beautiful, gossamer webs floating in the wind. But that’s all they are – pretty to look at but are merely intangible, unreachable illusions. I prefer to look at goals – realistic ones – nowadays.
This brings us to travelling to the future. Hmm. Before, I would have gladly pounced on the opportunity had someone told me I could get a peek at my future. Now, I’m not so sure anymore. This maybe because:
- I am afraid of what it will bring (e.g. war, natural catastrophe, death or disease).
- I don’t want to get ahead of myself by focusing too much on the future and forgetting the present.
- Future is relative and is changeable depending on the paths you choose so it doesn’t really matter in the end.
So thank you for giving me the gift of time travel. I’d probably consider it if it’s a life and death thing or if the future of the world solely depends on my getting into a time machine. But for now, I think I’ll have to pass.
I don’t know if I’ll come to regret my decision eventually. I guess I’ll just have to try to live more from now on so it doesn’t come to that. That, and to live in faith for whatever’s out there for me.
So, there. I may not have actually traveled in time but I was able to delve a bit into myself this morning. And I liked the journey, I must say.
How about you? Would you like to hop on a time machine?